The bruises have faded, but the pain hasn’t. My heart is still broken. I can’t utter the words “I love you” because I got so sick and tired of hearing you say that as you hurt me. I trusted you with my soul and you all but sucked it out of me. Years have past, but the remnant soul that’s left is still shattered.

Wondering where I got the strength to leave….

I’m trying not to be the bitter, angry Black bitch that people think I should be. Fighting, tooth and nail, against the urges to say “FUCK Y’ALL”, cuz those feelings? Oh, trust…. They’re a-brewin’…but if I succumb to them, I’ll be just. like. you. Or maybe that’s what you wanted.

Nigga.

Guess I’ll continue to smile like everything’s ok. Hell, no one will even notice that tear track underneath the makeup.

Not screaming, not crying out. Just finally admitting that I’m vulnerable.

Finally admitting that I’m not ok…..

I’m not ok.

When folks call me their “Favorite Zeta” (and it’s happened a LOT recently), I’m tempted to ask em “Well who was your favorite Zeta before I WAS one?” lol I’ll do it next time.

blucanon:

1.)Plates last. 2)Wherever’s close…3)The ones Im on, yep. Need to gwon and geet em converted 4)I dont hate it. I like being left alone 57% of the time. 5)Going out of your way to make one cry that doesnt deserve it. 6)PC!!!! MACs are horrid! 7)Because people like to “see the splinter in others’ eyes while ignoring the plank in their own.” Matthew 7:something 8.) Yes and No 9.) Spring and Fall 10.) :Love ya back! 11.) Depends on what you talmbout 12.) Werewolves 13.) Whatever he asked for 14.) Laying my head on someone’s chest and listening to his voice vibrate through it 15.) gradespeed.net 16.) yep! 17.) Wont go there; I’s happy! lol 18.) booth 19.) run 20.) the Jagged Edge song…first MAJOR kiss to that song! lol 21.) Who?

More than a timeframe (“Phirst Pham”), a marriage (“Coleman love”), or a geographical location(Indiana love)…understand now? It is crystal clear? Let’s HOPE so.

:-)

“There’s a Zeta in every girl…” :-)